It’s 1974 and my mom’s pregnant with me, resting in a vinyl covered recliner. During the day she took care of my older brothers and babysat kids in the neighborhood. After my dad came home from work at JCPenney, she’d go to bed, getting sleep before her 3rd shift job as a key punch operator. That’s if she was able to sleep through the noise, resisting the urge to get up and help.
I always knew that story, but recently my mom told me more details about her data entry job. She worked alone in an office, in a strip mall on a busy street. No shades or curtains, anyone outside could see her sitting by a big metal machine, punching holes in paper cards. She worked through the pregnancy, then went back after a short unpaid “break.”
Ever since she told me that I can’t help but wonder: Is that why I’m hypervigilant?
But my bigger question is: Why on earth did she have to do that? And yeah, it was “have to.” My dad’s paycheck didn’t cover essentials for a full pay period. Years later, she’s still paying a heavy toll as all that overwork is showing up in her aging body.
I know so many women face that same dilemma.
In contrast, I had very privileged pregnancies. When I reached a point where my job felt like a stress on my body, I resigned. I had no medical proof that I wasn’t able bodied enough to work; no legal definition of a “pregnancy-related condition.” But I knew if it didn’t feel good to sit confined to a chair or stand in one place for hours at a time, then it probably wasn’t good for my baby. And I was able to make that decision because my career was flexible and my partner’s income was able to support us.
It’s great that paid parental leave is expanding, maybe through a federal law too. But why isn’t pregnancy an extra part of parental leave? Why do people have to choose between pushing through that final stretch of pregnancy or losing time off after the baby’s born?
I don’t know if my mom working nights under stress while she was pregnant with me caused me to end up more anxious.
But we know how a mother’s wellbeing during pregnancy shapes outcomes – for herself, her baby and maybe generations. Pregnancy deserves more respect and consideration than it gets.