GenZfluenced Style
How my daughter is showing me how to make fashion fun again, with individuality over rules and a practical, sustainable, comfortable, playful mix that feels just right for midlife.
I don’t need a makeover—does anyone, really? But this past year, I did need to add a few practical pieces, for interviews, networking meetups, and several conferences. And I wanted to find more of what I love and have fun wearing, starting with what’s already in my own closet.
Who better to turn to than my own daughter, Nora‑Kathleen, who’s spent over a decade deep in fashion, clothing construction (she sews!), and personal styling?
I felt open to trying new things, asking Nora for ideas, and being more intentional about what I buy, keep, or let go of—focusing on what I like and what makes me feel good (and that includes not being wasteful or overspending).
Ultimately, fashion is about honoring, respecting, and celebrating yourself exactly as you are today and however you are tomorrow.
Individuality over rules is one major way I’ve been GenZfluenced by my daughter. Compared with my coming-of-age influences, hers feel more practical and sustainable, comfortable and playful—and all of that feels just right for midlife too!
Anything’s in style if it’s a style you want to wear.
The simple secret
Here’s what I learned from Nora: the secret isn’t making people over, but helping them find what‑to‑wear options—sometimes purely practical and utilitarian, other times pure fun—that make them feel more like themselves and at ease. You know the feeling, you just feel good.
I think more slowly about fashion now, and don’t feel pressured to buy anything that costs too much or doesn’t feel just so. Here are some shopping tips I’ve learned from shopping with Nora to help make that happen:
Find the right fit: Try on multiple sizes, and different cuts and manufacturers. It’s a pain (I know) but you’re more likely to end up with something you actually want to wear and less likely to waste money on things you never wear.
Question before buying: Note how it makes you feel as you stand, move, or sit. Will it feel comfortable to wear doing the things you normally do? Do you constantly need to readjust to make it look and feel “right”?
Learn how to style it: Knowing how to button, tie, adjust a piece can make a big difference. I never paid any attention to that but see now how it can make something I already own work better than I thought it could.
Read the label: Consider how it feels and how well it will wear. Some fabrics tend to stretch out (so buy a bit tighter) and others shrink (so maybe size up). Is it wash and wear? Is it worth caring for by hand and do you even have the time? And will you really pay to get it dry cleaned? Should you?
Pause before purchasing: Wait a week. If you forget about it then it was worth forgetting in the first place.
Support brick-and-mortar if you can: There’s value in having a place to go to try on a bunch of styles and sizes before paying, and maybe even getting some in-person help. Plus, they provide local jobs that matter to many who have them.
Things I’m loving now
As I watch styles from my youth recycle back, it’s also fun to rekindle feelings of things I loved before, but then totally forgot about.
I love hearing how other women over 40 are finding what feels right to them. That’s the beauty of being in the middle of life at a time when there are so many options to choose from. Another fun part is that everything you loved before can be worn again, in a brand new sort of way, but only if you want to.
Colorful sweaters and cardigans
Colorful sweaters are fun, cardigans are practical. Both are comfy.
Seeing a stack of sweaters makes me feel like a kid in a candy store again—or more like an Ups N Downs. I should’ve saved every single 80s sweaters because they’d still be wearable and ones I’d want to wear now.
Long cardigans with pockets are my year-round staples for work wear. In late winter, I like to pick up a fun sweater during final markdowns while it’s still cold enough to wear now and then feels like new next fall.
A sweater is something you wear when your mom is cold.
I just bought a new one and wore it while visiting my mom this month. It felt just like 1988 all over again. My mom and I are always cold, just like Grandma Odessa was. So we both wear sweaters a lot. Wearing a sweater feels like a hug from mom.
Belts—I forgot how much I loved them
How can you think of ’80s fashion without thinking of belts? Buying a thick, angled black belt with a chunky silver buckle was the first fashion accessory I bought, back in 1985, that made me feel so teenager. I wore it over oversized button-ups with upturned collars and stirrup pants underneath.
Later came belts paired with snug, high-waisted pleated pants that tapered at the ankle, then heavy belts studded with rhinestones, and eventually the thin, boring ones I used to dress up Dockers just a notch.
By the time everything went low-rise, I’d stopped wearing belts altogether. And after my second kid, any extra accessory like that just fell away. I completely forgot how much I loved them.
Now I reach for a belt to give an oversized shirt or dress shape, to anchor a monochrome outfit, or to make jeans feel more intentional. Also, there’s something about the centered feeling of a belt that feels steadying, and helps on those days when I have a stirring of energy that needs somewhere to go when I’m sitting or standing still at work. I bought a few basics last year. This year I’m looking to add an accent.
A black blazer
Did you buy one during Madonna’s Vogue days, maybe from Contempo Casuals? How about wearing it over a bra top and black leggings. Not a look I’d wear now, but the versatility of a black blazer can work with most everything: dark jeans, dress pants, slim skirt. You can feel all business, just casual, or sexy and fun. An easy to remove layer could work as a jacket during transitions of any kind.
I tried some on I liked but they cost way too much, so I’m still waiting to buy one, either as a saved up splurge or at resale. (shopping ≠ buying)
Easy-wearing dress pants
What went from business casual to dress casual now feels more casual than dress. So when I looked in my closet, I couldn’t find a single pair of pants that could really count as dress ones, aside a few shrunken up pairs that were too short.
Dressing the part can help you fake it enough to start to feel it. Momentum is everything, so that’s a huge thing! For work events this past year, I bought these three pair that felt just dressy enough:
Wide leg flowy pants that feel like PJs with pockets but look polished enough for work.
A timeless tweed pair (which reminds me of my childhood couch). Tweed is classic and works with a tucked in top or bodysuit, plus or minus a cardigan or jacket.
A navy straight-fitting pair that’s my new favorite black pant (because I forgot how much I love navy!).
Aritzia has so many great options. You can find pants that travel and wear well, and their stuff seems like it will hold well over time to justify a bit higher price (and you can buy markdowns if you time it right).
Jersey-knit long dresses & skirts
Maxi is already passed peak comeback, maybe already out, but who cares. As it should, anything’s in style if it’s a style you want to wear.
I love knit dresses and skirts. They’re cheap, so comfy, and work from spring to fall. I’d say winter too (just add long wool socks).
When I was 17, I wrote a school report for English class on the “bifurcation of women”—the story of when women started wearing pants. But I remember wondering, why are pants so great? Most pants had a weird gappy, falling-down feeling (annoying as hell) or had to feel squeezed at certain pressure points, which could cause heartburn or down there problems (worse than annoying).
Although I loved skirts and dresses, I stopped wearing them after a certain age. But Nora never stopped wearing them, because if you love it, then wear it! (why I needed my daughter to show me this is okay still baffles me).
Long stretchy skirts and dresses are practical and versatile too. I can sit crisscross on the floor, run or dance, or sit neatly in place. They work with sandals, clogs, or even gym shoes. Wedges dress them up for a night out. I’ll add a flowy wrap for summer days or a cardigan for a church or business casual style. A chambray or utility shirt and long wool socks work well during transitional seasons.
And when it comes to maxi skirts or dresses, I don’t buy pricy. I have cheap ones I bought 10+ years ago and they’ve held up perfectly fine, maternity ones too (you’d never know).
Fresh ‘n Fancy 40+ years later
Did you have a Fresh ‘n Fancy kit, or remember the commercials? I wanted one so bad. It was the only thing I wanted for Christmas 1982, and I knew I’d get it because I found it in my parents’ closet soon after Thanksgiving.
It’s so sweet to picture my dad buying the makeup kit for me, and then stopping to take that picture of me when I tried it out. It was so chemically crappy smelling and the gloss tasted gross. But I loved it, especially mixing it up. Somehow I knew graduated cylinders and beakers would be somewhere in my future.
But before my love chemistry arrived, my hormones did. Makeup was sold as every girl’s gateway into getting attention, even though you didn’t know what that actually meant. You just knew all the made-up faces in the teen mags seemed to be having more fun than you. So did the grownups. The more the better, just like on the soaps—bold was beautiful. Then came MTV—bold got noticed. I wore way too much 80s makeup, but it seemed fitting for my goal: grow up fast and get out.
In the 90s, I switched to a look of a powdery face and standout lips, just as I began questioning the misogynistic aspects of a lot of the makeup I’d been buying, wondering why those marketing messages were even sold to me as a kid.
Thoughts of makeup fell away during my many years with little kid hands on my face.
Sunscreen, though, is a daily habit I wished I’d started sooner. But it’s never too late!
Since having skin cancer at 47, I wear sunscreen every day and keep some in my bag to reapply when needed. I like tinted sunscreens with iron oxides which protect from both UVA and UVB light (the blue light kind). Derms say it works well across diverse phototypes.
This past year, I’ve wanted to experiment with makeup again, not to hide my face, but to have fun with it, remembering the playful side of adding color and accents to suit my mood. Though this time, I want to actually learn how to apply it.
Nora’s my go-to help. Her gen is so much smarter about makeup because they came of age with DIY tutorials galore. I feel overwhelmed going into Sephora without her. Here are some products she helped me pick out.
I save eye makeup for special occasions because I mostly don’t like putting makeup near my eyes and refuse to ever apply any to my inner eyelids (way too many bad memories of that).
Have you heard of eyelid cleansers? You can buy them in wipes or liquid form. They’re formulated specially to clean eyelids and eyelashes. My ophthalmologist recommended them for dry eye. That’s right. As you get older, the eye’s oil glands can clog more easily. The less oils in your eyes the easier your tears evaporate and the drier your eyes get. I didn’t know this, did you? Here’s an explainer in case you’re interested in learning more.
I always wash any makeup off well with an oil-based cleanser or gentle one like Cetaphil. And going makeup free on some days feels good too.
Being more thoughtful about buying is a win-win all around. Gen Zers came of age in peak fast fashion and then soon learned all the social and environmental problems from that. Now I ask myself these questions before buying new:
Do I have something that already works?
Are there clothes sitting unworn in my closet that someone else could use?
Can I mend something I have instead of replacing it?
What’s the wear life of the piece, for me or as a donation?
Is borrowing or buying used an option?
Wearing something from a loved one can make you feel loved just by putting it on.
A coat from a loved one
I bought two new coats as an adult. One in 2004 and then 2010. I still wear both, but I really like my coats that came from loved ones: a coat from dad, a few I snatched from my daughter’s give-away pile when she was still living at home, and now ones from my mom as she’s shrinking from osteoporosis. (Bone health matters at every age. It’s never too early or too late to take care of your bones.)
I love the idea of wearing a loved one’s coat. I can’t imagine a new one feeling quite so warm.
Coming soon: a post about undergarments. I’ll be talking about bras that actually fit, panties that stay put, why knee highs and thigh highs are back in my life, and how undergarments can support not just our bodies, but our comfort and confidence. (And yes, there’s some Victoria’s Secret venting.)
Also soon: a 3-year Substack anniversary post (I’ll share an update of my future writing plans here) and another photography interview (I’m SO excited!).
I welcome anyone to reach out and let me know if there’s anything I can do to help you! Hope you’re able to find your slowing down space whenever you need it.
Here in Wisconsin, it feels like spring!!!
