What an important essay. I wish every mother-daughter could read this. I remember the moment when I finally differentiated my experience from my mom and it took forty years to get there! I found it interesting also that first, in order to separate from your mom you, you had to look at how things lived for your dad. And then I’m assuming ultimately that freed you to finally discover your own thoughts and feelings. Thank you for sharing this intimate and enlightening piece!
Thank you Kimberly. I appreciate ALL the stories you share—your own and so many others! And your memoir perfectly captures the messy and mixed up process of separating and healing. I always savor your gorgeous writing and feel a sense of connection through your words.
This is SUCH a good piece. There's a few people in my life — both women and men — who I know could benefit from reading it. Will try to figure out how to get it in front of their eyes...
Thank you Michael for your feedback. It's always a little scary sharing personal stories. Then, I remind myself how I've benefited from reading other people's; the details differ, but the patterns are familiar. Whatever stuff you're dealing with, someone else too. And I love that part about life.
But I appreciate that working through issues with a parent may not be possible. Maybe they're gone. Or maybe talking openly with them isn't an option (sometimes it just isn't). Still, understanding and owning your own story can help with healing all on its own. I've been surprised by its positive impact on my other relationships and areas of life.
I wanted to take my time to read this and I finally did. This is a wonderful essay. Very personal, but still so much to take away from. Being a parent, but also being a child are such difficult ‘jobs’. You are thrown into a situation you have never dealt with before - how could you anyone be perfect at this? And yet, it is expected from you…
My mom (she died three years ago) was a good mom (with her own limitations and struggles), but I never wanted to be like her. And yet here I am -almost fifty- sometimes catching myself being just like her.
Thank you for sharing your experience and your reflections!
Thank you Susanne. I'm almost 50 too and am also surprised by the different sides of myself that I see as I age. But maybe it never ends. Some of the last conversations I had with my grandma were about her mom. It struck me that someone in their 90s, whose mom had been gone for over 40 years, was still processing and seeing a connection with her mom she hadn't seen before.
I've processed a lot through writing but find other people's expressive work helpful too. And I really appreciate the work that you do. Your zine came in the mail. I love it! It's beautiful!!
What an important essay. I wish every mother-daughter could read this. I remember the moment when I finally differentiated my experience from my mom and it took forty years to get there! I found it interesting also that first, in order to separate from your mom you, you had to look at how things lived for your dad. And then I’m assuming ultimately that freed you to finally discover your own thoughts and feelings. Thank you for sharing this intimate and enlightening piece!
Thank you Kimberly. I appreciate ALL the stories you share—your own and so many others! And your memoir perfectly captures the messy and mixed up process of separating and healing. I always savor your gorgeous writing and feel a sense of connection through your words.
This is SUCH a good piece. There's a few people in my life — both women and men — who I know could benefit from reading it. Will try to figure out how to get it in front of their eyes...
Thank you Michael for your feedback. It's always a little scary sharing personal stories. Then, I remind myself how I've benefited from reading other people's; the details differ, but the patterns are familiar. Whatever stuff you're dealing with, someone else too. And I love that part about life.
But I appreciate that working through issues with a parent may not be possible. Maybe they're gone. Or maybe talking openly with them isn't an option (sometimes it just isn't). Still, understanding and owning your own story can help with healing all on its own. I've been surprised by its positive impact on my other relationships and areas of life.
I wanted to take my time to read this and I finally did. This is a wonderful essay. Very personal, but still so much to take away from. Being a parent, but also being a child are such difficult ‘jobs’. You are thrown into a situation you have never dealt with before - how could you anyone be perfect at this? And yet, it is expected from you…
My mom (she died three years ago) was a good mom (with her own limitations and struggles), but I never wanted to be like her. And yet here I am -almost fifty- sometimes catching myself being just like her.
Thank you for sharing your experience and your reflections!
Thank you Susanne. I'm almost 50 too and am also surprised by the different sides of myself that I see as I age. But maybe it never ends. Some of the last conversations I had with my grandma were about her mom. It struck me that someone in their 90s, whose mom had been gone for over 40 years, was still processing and seeing a connection with her mom she hadn't seen before.
I've processed a lot through writing but find other people's expressive work helpful too. And I really appreciate the work that you do. Your zine came in the mail. I love it! It's beautiful!!
I am glad writings helps you. I think for me really it is time that helps and finding peace with myself and the way I am any and accepting who I am.
PS: So happy you enjoyed the zine! Thank you for the feedback!